It’s not your fault, that the first time I met you, I doubted your intentions. The world has made me like that. Though, when I got to know you, you were a delight and a charmer. You made me laugh, you laughed at my jokes too! You shared your thoughts and really listened to mine.
I support the notion “Not All Men” , because of YOU. You never made me feel unsafe or insecure. Instead, You made sure, I was comfortable. Because you really meant it, when you said that I am your friend, your sister or your lover. Until,
I met the toxic ones along the way. Yet, I trusted them, because I always thought they’d all be like you. But here again, “Not All Men”. So ,they were manipulative, scary and desperate. Not for my love, but for my body.
They don’t exist to me anymore. Because I have more of you in my life and I am grateful for that. When I know I am a feminist, I also know, that YOU respect not just Women, But Everyone. And I respect you for that.
We never talk about gender equality, even when you call me bro, buddy, & babe, because I call you the same too. It’s not the WORDS that make us equal, but it’s our actions. I never had to tell you, that you’re being biased, because you chose ME as your Equal.
I understand, it’s hard for you too, to find a place for yourself, and to make people NOT misunderstand you. I understand, that you feel trapped in this battle of patriarchy and equality. In spite of the fact, that you just care about humanity. But You need to understand that for US, it’s a never ending battle too.
The only thing Me & You can do, is to keep doing what we do and do it better everyday. Let’s remain friends, equals and competitors.
Let’s learn together.
Let’s grow together.
Let’s make this world a better place together.
Because You & I are EQUALLY capable.
Believe it or not, people think writing is easy and anyone can be a writer. Well, yes anyone CAN be a writer, as long as they’re willing to give up certain things for it! I never thought I’d call myself a writer & to be honest, I have my doubts even today! I have realised some things that makes writing one of the toughest creative jobs! Although, creativity is tough as it is. Yet, I’ll speak only for myself today! Writing isn’t a piece of cake!
I haven’t found my writing voice yet. I don’t know what works best for me & I have no idea when I’ll follow just ONE genre to write about! As of now, I write what I am feeling! May be that’s my writing voice, PERSONAL.
The Most Personal Is The Most Creative.
– Martin Scorsese
Not every writer struggle with that though. Some of them are straight forward and damn clear about what they will write about. They don’t have to wander in the creative realm for different topics. They find their creative topics within their genre, because they know where to look & how! Well, I adore all of them! And the ones like me, who are clueless & write about WHATEVER, I understand. You’re not alone. The writers I am talking about are the emotional ones, for whom writing is their passion, not the ones who’re selling writing courses on their websites! Those aren’t writers, those are marketers.
However, the WRITERS, who have a clear head and the ones who’re clueless, have something in common. They’re WRITERS. As a writer, you have insecurities & doubts. You know it if you’re a writer, that you struggle everyday. It isn’t easy and it won’t be. EVER.
20 Reasons Why Writing Is Frightening:
#1 Writer’s Block. Already scary, isn’t it! I have this almost every month!! Running out of words, will & intention to write anymore!!
#2 Creative Block. Similar to #1 but not exactly that. It’s about running out of topics to write about. Especially, if you’re into “I want to write something different” thing!
#3 Exhaustion. I won’t say writers are untouchable to exhaustion! Even the most passionate ones get exhausted once in a while! And just like every other creative person, we take a break and recharge our brain.
#4 Fear. You can be the most fearless person in the room, yet right before you hit publish for a blog post or a book, you’ll be anxious. After hitting publish, you’ll be in fear of non-acceptance. Your words matter to you, but will they matter to your audience?!
#5 Expectations. Expectations to over do our previous write-ups, previous books or previous hits! Expectations that with each post, you become a better writer, even if nobody tells you so. For a writer, expectations to be better than your yesterday self are so high, that sometimes we forget that the reality will always belong to us anyway!
#6 Statistics. For a writer, stats is like sugar addiction! You know it’s going to harm you, yet you consume it everyday. Even multiple times a day! How many hits my blog got, how many people liked my post, how many people visited my site! And don’t get me started with a book statistics! If you’ve published a book, you know it!
#7 Authenticity. The most fearful times for writers are the question of authenticity. Plagiarism is a BIGGEST BANE in writing community. First of all, if you copy someone else’s work and DON’T give them credit, STOP CALLING YOURSELF A WRITER. You’ll never be one. All a writer ever wants, is for people to respect his/her words and appreciate the effort he/she has put in to write something! Any article we write is like our baby! So please love it and respect the effort!
#8 Competition. Writing is the most competitive form of work. Someone had to say it, and I am not afraid to. If you’re a writer, you have to face and accept the fact that there is immense competition in the industry. Almost, everyone’s trying to be a blogger, a creator, a writer, an author and on top of that, they may be doing it better than you. As much as internet has helped everyone to showcase their talents, it has also cluttered the way to be on top!
#9 Multi-Tasking. Writing is not just one job. You have to be a writer, a marketer, a social media manager, basically an expert of the online world to promote your brand and words to as many people as possible. Thankfully, writing community is extremely supportive of each other.
#10 Currency. Writing doesn’t pay unless you spend some of money to be seen and heard in the crowd! Ads, Domains, Website services, Promotions, Book publishing !! All of this happens BEFORE we start earning a single penny, which by the way, is not sure to be within your pocket anytime soon! It takes months or years even!
#11 Vulnerability. A writer is vulnerable when he/she writes about personal experiences. As I mentioned earlier, My writing voice is PERSONAL. The most personal is the most creative but it has its downside. It’s hard to show your inner-most feelings to the world and not get judged! Yet, a good writer knows how to portray it in a decent way, but a great writer – Just Doesn’t Care. A Great Writer knows the value of true & authentic self portrayal.
#12 Joblessness. If you’ve opted writing as your full-time job, for others, its not really a job. People think you don’t have a source of income and you’re wasting your time on this writing bit, because there’s so much competition already! How’re you ever going to beat that! It can make a writer discouraged and demotivated. But we keep going, because it’s what we want to do and we believe in ourselves. We won’t stop until we make it work.
#13 Mental Health. Writers read A LOT! Other writer’s content, topics that interests us, research that can help with their own work, books. Writer’s also READ BETWEEN THE LINES. Most of the writers are empathetic and compassionate. They share their feelings on their blog and the deepest feelings in a diary, and so, they have hard time sharing in real life. They listen to others and all of this listening, reading, not sharing takes a toll on their mental health- on a daily basis.
#14 Consistency. A continuous pressure cooker!! To write more, if possible, everyday. If not, then thrice a week. To keep posting ANYTHING so that people don’t forget about the blog ! To keep up with the competitors, because they write EVERYDAY!! Well, Brutus not everyone can write everyday!
#15 Social-Life. When you become a writer, you naturally tend to cut off with people because of your schedules and lack of time! NO! The truth is not that. A writer is socially off, even when he/she is with people, because they’re making notes in the head about what they’re going to write next which is inspired from this very event. They’re so into it, that they don’t enjoy much or even gel well with others. Their brain is running at 125kmh! So, they have fewer friends and they zone out more often. They’re basically introverts of the creative world!
#16 Opacity. A writer wants to be transparent but it’s quite not possible for them to be it! They’re naturally opaque. They will not show their true selves to anyone, because their true self reflects in their words and in real-life, they are NOT their words. Because the words are the safer space for a writer to be him/herself. Their writings are transparent but their lives are opaque.
#17 Distractions. Just like now, I typed this heading and started using Instagram ! Social media distractions are the worst. But they’re with everyone. A writer is distracted with anything! A writer needs a personal space, a quite environment and some alone time to write the best. Otherwise, It just blows off well!
#18 Romance. No, romance is not a distraction for a writer. But the problem is, romance is basically content. Not everyone supports that. So if you ever commit to a writer, be prepared to be the show stopper! Most writers write about their personal experiences, that includes love- BIG TIME. Either you can support that, or get annoyed! Sorry, can’t help it!
#19 Giving Up. Not on writing, NO! Giving up on some other things they love doing. Because if our minds are into multiple things, we’ll probably blow it off with everything we do. So, if want to write, you have to give up on your other passions! Not that you can’t practice them once in a while. You have to, its rejuvenating. But work on one thing and let go of the rest! It’s really hard though.
#20 Self-Doubt. Writers have self-doubts regarding everything. Every word they write, every step they take forward, every book they publish, every feedback they get, everyday when words don’t visit, every time someone says “get a job”, every now & then, a writer doubts him/herself, if he/she’s doing the right thing! If he/she’ll ever get where they’ve aimed or more! But what keeps them going, is the one thing they started for – They Love To Write.
While writing the start of this post, I didn’t have a writing voice. Now, I do. Like I said, My writing voice is personal. I found it while writing this personal article, to share it with whomever needs to know it! Writing isn’t as easy, as it looks. If you still want to keep writing, then never stop, because you love it too much to give up.
Thanks for reading. Namaste.
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It’s not easy to break a habit. Once broken, it’s not easy to re-form it. Especially, a habit that requires will, concentration & determination but ends up only in procrastination!! No. I am not talking about writing, although it’s traits are quite similar but as clear from the title, I am talking about reading!
Reading has been a core part of my routine for a longer time, but somehow with the job & house chores & more, I kind of lost interest in it! I used to keep my books on the desk, in the front so that I can let myself WANT to read, but that never happened. Then, the lockdown happened & I still didn’t read!! I know I wanted but I didn’t. I picked them up, looked at the covers, the ones I’d left half read, I embraced them with my fingers, remembering about the story & just before I could open it, I put it back on the desk! Instead, I watched movies & series! I felt guilty sometimes, but not enough to actually do something about it!
“We need change in order to survive!”
What I did to get back to Reading:
I shifted to a different room & gave it a different ambiance so that I feel the CHANGE. Because we need change in order to survive! That room didn’t have a television, nor it had the wifi. I just had my phone, some books, some stationary for writing & colouring & my laptop. So, basically, I minimalised the sources of entertainment. For some more, I also had my ukulele. Never much used it, as I was procrastinating for it as well!! But, this isn’t about it. It’s about reading.
Once I started living in this new room, I felt more free and less pressurised to DO things! I just did what I wanted to IN THE MOMENT. So, at first, I did some colouring! Threw some random oil pastels on the sheet, hoping to get something for the wall!
“I didn’t force myself to do things & it helped me to do more.”
Here’s what I created:
I think it’s better than what I used do in the name of art!!! Anyway, the point is, it worked. I didn’t force myself to do things & it helped me to do more. I started watching Harry Potter for like the 100th time! Then, I picked up a book & started reading from where I had left. The book was The Palace of Illusions by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni . This book is based on the Indian epic — Mahabharat. Only in this book, the author have narrated the story through the perspective of the female protagonist of the tale , Draupadi.
I started re-reading it and I was trapped in the story, all over again! Now, I am liking it and I have time for it or should I say, I value my time for reading!! So, my reading list now involves:
- Women by Charles Bukowski
- Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari (1/4th read)
- Incognito by David Eagleman (1/4th read)
- The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
I love all of these but just like a child loses interest in some of the toys, I lost it too! Only the child doesn’t know the value of those toys, but I do. So, that’s how I went back to my books & resumed my reading habit after months.
Points to remember:
- Human Beings need constant change in life in order to survive better!
- Minimalising is the way to de-clutter our minds & life.
- Do things you feel like doing in the moment.
- Do not force your way to creativity.
- Books are our best companions.
With these points, I leave you with a motive to not be bombarded with thoughts but ways to organise them.
Thanks for reading. Namaste.
With sleep in my eyes and a cup of tea on the side, I start my Day 01 of the NEW 21 days nationwide lockdown cycle! That sounds heavy, but is it really that tough? 3 weeks! 21 Days! 504 hours! Is it even enough?
With the Covid-19 pandemic, the world is facing economic failures , people are losing lives and it still isn’t stopping! It hit India almost a month ago I guess, and until now more than 600 people have been infected of the corona virus. To break the spread cycle, last night the Prime Minister announced a nationwide lockdown starting midnight – for 21 DAYS! People lost their minds, they still are. But Panic isn’t the solution. Patience is. It is our responsibility as human beings, to take steps within our reach , so that we can go back to our normal lives. For that, all we’re asked is to STAY HOME!
I understand, 21 days seem a lot, but YOU can make it easier and make the best out of them. Starting right now, reading this is your first step. Right now, we have been given the best gift of all- TIME. Embracing it is going to bring out the best in us.
Hence, this is not just about the coming 21 days. This is about ANY 21 DAYS. As a proven fact, it takes 21 days for a human brain to form a habit. So.
WHERE TO START?
- Pick up a Pen and a Notebook. (DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE FOR THIS). Start writing down all the things you like to do and what makes you happy -Your Hobbies and Interests.
- Filter the things that you can do at home.
- Divide your time for each of those things during the day.
- Follow the routine
IT IS EASY. To make it easier for you, I am going to break it day wise so that you understand better, the extreme positive effects of the 21 days we’ve embarked on.
But there are obstacles, it isn’t that easy. There can be two scenarios. Let’s understand them one by one.
SCENARIO – 01
DAY 01: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 02: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 03: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 04: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 05: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 06: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 07: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 08: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 08: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 09: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 10: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 11: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 12: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 13: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 14: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 15: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 16: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 17: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 18: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 19: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 20: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
DAY 21: You’ll sleep, surf the internet, binge watch, eat, roam around, yawn, sometimes work and repeat- and wait for 21 days to be over.
YES. YOU SKIPPED. KINDLY SKIP SUCH HABITS IN REALITY, IF YOU WISH TO TAKE OUT THE BEST OUT OF THESE DAYS.
NOW, LET’S BE SERIOUS AND REALLY GET INTO THE 21 DAY HABIT CHALLENGE!!!
SCENARIO – 02
DAY 01: You are reading this post and realise that I might be right. Or may be not. You already have a habit/routine that you follow and it’s best for you. So you chill. The ones, who don’t and are attracted to Scenario 01 (above)- You are thinking about taking up the 21DaysHabitChallenge. It’s a good start. Sleep on this thought.
DAY 02: You wake up and realise you’re going to stay home for a next few days. You wish to do something about it. You check your phone and put it down because , aren’t you tired of seeing the same things every morning?! You decide to workout today. Starting this day, but how? I will help you with that. There’s a website https://centr.com/ by Chris Hemsworth and he is giving away the membership FREE for the next 6 weeks! I have started using it and IT IS AMAZING. Try it. Exercise and workout is one of the many habits we must form.
DAY 03: You worked out yesterday and you feel better about yourself. Now you feel energised to do something more. After this day’s workout, you decide to cook a healthy meal for yourself. You calculate the ingredients you have and what can be made out of them. You do. It tastes heavenly, doesn’t it!!!
DAY 04: You wake up at the same time you did yesterday. Your sleep is better. You workout, cook yourself a great breakfast and pick up your laptop. You go through different websites in search of something. Then you come across https://www.udemy.com/ , A website for online courses. You look it up and see that the courses are briefly accessible at an affordable price. You buy one course that interests you best. you start to study. You feel like you’re in college again. You want this feeling to stay and you continue with the course until it’s finished.
DAY 05: You have three things to do daily in your routine- workout, cook, study. You feel a bit lazy today, but you still go through all these things. Now you want more. You want to read things that are different and the things available at one place. You come across https://medium.com/ . You read the articles there and you are intrigued. But now you’re bored. You want some entertainment. So you start to binge watch.
DAY 06: You slept late last night as you were watching a web series and hence, you woke up late! Missed your workout! Didn’t feel like cooking and not at all energised to study! You lie down the whole day, scrolling through your phone. But you don’t like this feeling, do you? You wasted the day in procrastination and daydreams… Now it’s upto you, how you want your tomorrow to be!
DAY 07: Today is the end of the first week out of 3 weeks! You started off good but you’re having anxiety about your own decisions, that led to an entire waste of the day yesterday!!! Now, you want to cease everyday you have. You don’t want to feel like you felt yesterday!!!!!
WHAT DO YOU DO?
DAYs 08-09-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20-21 ARE UPTO YOU.
Call To Action:
There can be many different interests for different people, yet everyone can bring out best from them. I have been doing gardening, making my own clay from garden soil to make pottery (learnt from youtube), singing, writing, reading, cooking, cleaning, exploring the internet for information that can help me grow, studying an online course, binge watching, working out, eating, sleeping and REPEATING it all…. 24 hours-12 hobbies. One plus or minus sometimes (painting or learning a new language or an instrument). I am able to do all this because of the blessing of technology and understanding it’s utilisation for the best of me. You can do this too…
It’s your turn to bring out the best out of YOURSELF. Comment below of how you’re utilising all the hours in the day. Let’s share ideas.
Thanks for reading. Namaste.