Plagiarism Of Personality

 We’re ignoring our uniqueness.

View at Medium.com

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Disclaimer: Everything written below is the writer’s thoughts and observation-based curations.

Don’t you think it’s a race? Race of being the best by being- different, unique, weird, crazy, abnormal, spooky, and some more words to describe the latest trend in the market? How often do we see stories of a romantic pair, where the guy tells the girl or vice-versa, “I like you because you’re different”! Only they realize later, that they’re all the same!! They think their partner is different is because they pretend to be at the beginning of the relationship. I am not saying they can’t be different, but the odds seem quite not-in-favor of the notion! For instance, take all of us. The Medium Writers. Aren’t we all trying to stand-out? Trying to write the most different & the next cool article that is loved by everyone? Why do you think I am writing this cool & different post? Let’s face it guys, our purpose in life is love. To love others, yes. But mostly to be loved by others. We live for validation & crave it in everything we do. Henceforth, the race to be cool & different begins!

But why do we ignore the fact that we are different !?

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What am I getting at? At a point, that in being different & cool, we’re losing the touch! The touch of reality.

Being Yourself is a luxury only a few can afford. In between all the haze of ‘getting noticed’, all of us are losing the one thing we must always hold on to! Being Ourselves. The problem with today’s mindset is not that we’re hustling over ‘plagiarism of personalities’, but not being aware of it! As individuals, we have individual personalities (everyone knows that), yet we’re unknowingly competing with ourselves & not with others.

“Plagiarism of Personality can be defined as a person who, despite being sufficient on their own, thinks otherwise & tries to adopt practices that are considered to be ‘cooler’ & have been adapted by several beings, to get the attention of the people who’re suffering from the same, unknowingly.”

We all are different and that is the most basic similarity amongst us.

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Weird Is The New Cool!

Everyone NOW thinks/knows that weird is the new cool. Hence, everyone is trying to be weird in their ways. Even if it means to lose yourself! If you’re naturally NOT weird, you’re still cool because at least You are Yourself! Trust me, Weird isn’t the new Cool! Being Yourself is.

Yet, this is not easily understandable if you’ve gone too far! Then let me make it easier:

There are weird people. They’re cool.

Some people aren’t weird, but they’re still cool.

Why do we want to copy other’s personalities to be as cool as them?

Why can’t we accept that dude, we’re in fact, cooler than thou!

Weird isn’t the new Cool! Being Yourself is.

Still, you can deny that you’re suffering from plagiarism of personality. It’s okay. Because we’re all weird. We all are different and that is the most basic similarity amongst us. Yet, we can’t run away from the truth, which is, we’re all struggling to win over the other. But the good thing is, we still love each other & support each other in every way possible.

To make it easier, I am going to share some signs & solutions, if the plagiarism of personality has taken a toll on you.

Signs of Plagiarism of Personality:

• Denial & Unawareness.
• Constant thoughts on how to ‘prove yourself’.
• Thoughts like ‘They did this. How can I do that to be better’ are also common.
• Trying to be different.
• Seeking validation.
• Low self-esteem.
• Hard time making friends by setting higher standards for yourself.
• Not feeling happy from the inside.
• This list can be very long, but I’ll leave at it.

Solutions for Plagiarism Of Personality:

• Be aware & accept the truth.
• Work hard on originality and the results will show.
• Get inspired by others. Not envied.
• Embrace your different.
• Stop giving a damn about what people think.
• Be yourself. Accept you as you. Your confidence is the best thing to carry.
• Be grateful for your true friends. Value their presence in your life.
• Spend time with yourself. Love Yourself. You’ll be happier.

The point to remember is — You are YOU. There can never be another YOU. Don’t pollute that with plagiarism of personality! Embrace Yourself. We’re different and that’s why we’re cool.

Thanks for reading. Namaste.

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The Truth About Unrequited Love

Words from the Archive.

To all of you wondering what unrequited love means, Unrequited Love is that one-sided love story that you never got to start or finish!

I recently read an article about Unrequited Love and it really seemed very relatable and pure! That made me wonder, is it real or just momentary, or what really is the psychology behind unrequited love? So, I looked inside my own head and heart and here you’ll know some factual basis for having a heart-wrenching one-sided love affair!

First things first, when do you know that your crush or infatuation phase is over and now you have the one-sided love for a person? 

Well, psychology says that it takes 4 months to fall in love, and crush & infatuation happen all the time, but there’s a silver lining between all these.  Crushs may also remain for a long time depending on the person you’re crushing on! If the person is reciprocating the same amount of effort, you’ll crush over them even more! But then you’ll get to know them, and you’ll feel like “I don’t like this person anymore, it was better before when I knew nothing about them”!!! And your crush is over. Time for a new hunt.

Happens with me! *giggles*

Infatuation is slightly different because after the equal effort of the person you still like them, and you may feel like you can be with them and all that stuff. Day dreaming is a common disease around this (it’s common in every attraction though, planning the future and imagining, what it’ll be like to be their gf/bf)….*too much dopamine*. It has more passion, more evaluation and more regrets of doing crazy things! *Sighs*

But then someone better comes along, and there’s a wall that’s slowly building up, and the next thing you know, you have a new crush!

Love is another level of submission to the person who loves us back. You know things about them, they know things about you. You see someone better , but in your heart you both know that this person is the only one who makes me happy. (Love is selfish in nature by the way). And you know all the other things that happen when two people are in love!!! *Eye rolling*.

Now, the hard one is the Unrequited Love.

 I am sure most of us have had or still have a one-sided love for a person, who knows nothing about it!

This love is completely unconditional and selfless. We know the person and their traits, and we love everything about them, without any doubts about the fact that they may never feel the same for us! But, deep down, we still hope that someday they’ll reciprocate equally.

There’s one edge though. We don’t see the negative side of that person, or any deal breakers. We tend to focus on all the good things the person has and neglect their imperfections. That is why we find it hard to get out of these feelings.  I am not saying that a person’s imperfections are a bad thing, infact they make them more real and more human. But, when we deny that a person can have any spots, we are telling our brain to see them as PERFECT , for US!

Although this is stupid, but everything is fair in love! We all do it.

Why do we feel this way? 

When we see a person as PERFECT, we see all those things that we would want in our ideal partner to have! Of course, we don’t know who that’ll turn out to be, ideal or not. But, the person we have an unrequited love for, is that ideal partner for us! In simpler words, they just make us feel like home.

This is the only reason I feel there is, to have an undenying, undying, unconditional unrequited love.

Now, the real question is,

Can we get out of this hopeless love?

Well, it isn’t easy to get out of LOVE! Especially, when we have these feelings for a long time, months, or years may be! But, yes it is possible.

We just need to tell ourselves the real facts about this situation. The truth about Unrequited Love is that, its not in our hands to make someone fall in love with us. We can’t make anyone feel anything. So, we must accept the truth that these feelings, if grown stronger each day, will only harm US. To get out of them is to focus on the fact that THAT person may know about your feelings (because they do, it is obvious to guess if someone likes you), they still don’t do anything about it, and you are just waiting there for them to initiate, but trust me, they won’t.

Now, you can move on by accepting the fact that they know this, but still don’t feel the same way, and you can stop wasting your life hoping, they ever will! I know it’s hard , and it hurts.

But, do yourself a favour today. Get out of it. Because there’re plenty of fishes in the sea who will value you for YOU.

Writing Everyday Is NOT Going To Help You

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Don’t Write Everyday. Write Regularly Instead. There’s a difference!

I can’t remember what was the first thing I ever wrote, but I know it wasn’t good. Surely, it had grammatical errors, it mustn’t have connected with the reader and it definitely was one of the worst things one could read! But I do remember WHEN I wrote it. 2010. I didn’t know I could write. All I used to do was journal. The old teenage rant over betrayal in friendships, having crushes & puberty! It was a regular journal, amidst some poems! Unfortunately, I remember the poems!!! Yuck!!! You would kill yourself if you’d read them! Don’t worry, I wouldn’t let you. Now, ten years later, I know I can write better than I used to. But the reason for that isn’t the gap of ten years, it’s that I never stopped writing! It was unintentional, but it was my love for writing that kept me going all these years.

Yet, I wrote regularly. Not everyday. Being a teenager, you can understand I must’ve had some other businesses to attend. Besides, writing was my hobby at that time! Now, that it’s the way of life for me, I still feel, writing everyday isn’t the thing I like doing!!

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Difference between Writing Regularly & Writing Everyday

Writing everyday, is simply writing everyday.

Write. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

However, writing regularly is writing when you HAVE it-The idea +Intention. 

Wake up. Read. Write only when you have something valuable to write. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

Moreover, writing everyday is easy & anyone can do it, but as the years have passed, I have learnt that writing regularly is more difficult & necessary. 

Keep reading while I describe it in bits.

Pros & Cons of Writing Everyday:

I am sure, all you’ve heard so far, are the pros of writing everyday. The experts tell us to write, at least 1000 words and more each day! But I am not an expert. I won’t tell you anything like that. I will tell you — by experience, the truth about writing everyday, which also includes cons.

Pros:

• It forms a great habit.
• It makes your writing technique better, one day at a time.
• It’s good for traffic.
• It’s good to gain followers.
• It helps with the brain exercise.
• It makes you wiser & more informed.
• This list can go on based on personal experiences. Add yours if you want!

Cons:

• It can feel exhausting.
• It makes us feel stressed & guilty to skip a day.
• It can cause writer’s block.
• It can also cause creativity block.
• It can distract you from other important tasks at hand.
• It can cause anxiety.
• This list too, can go on based on personal experiences.

I understand writing everyday is a habit, a routine or should I say — a sentiment for most of the writers. Even Seth Godin has been writing everyday since forever. No wonder he crossed 7000 posts on his blog in 2017!!!

What I am trying to say is, this is legendary & inspiring but NOT EVERYONE CAN DO IT. Why put so much pressure on them already!!! This charm of writing everyday is best in a state of flow. 

Can we achieve our goals & remain in the state of flow by writing regularly & not everyday? 

Yes, we can.

Writing Regularly can be defined as the writing flow where the writer, instead of writing everyday, makes a schedule to take necessary gaps within the flow state to work on something else. 

In simpler words, for example: If you’re writing a book & you plan to self publish it, because why not?! There are other things to be taken care of rather than the words itself. The design, the cover, the fonts, the pages, the chapters etc. If we write regularly, say once in two days and take one of those days in working on other parts of the book, it is still you working on the book! It keeps the fun on, because writing too much can take a toll on you and dividing tasks within the group keeps you creative & relaxed. Sometimes, while doing something else, you get more & better ideas for the writing you’re currently doing & you can add them up the next day or the day when you write again!

Note: This is only an example of writing a book. The practice can include any other form of art.

Pros & Cons of Writing Regularly:

Yes, there are pros & cons for this as well. But how different are they from writing everyday?

Let’s find out!

Pros:

• It forms a great habit — Researching
• It makes our writing techniques better, because we learn to edit the things we have written already.
• It’s good for your post to gain more readers before you bombard them with more!
• It keeps your writing game UP which provides quality in everything you write. Hence, genuine followers.
• It helps with your creativity to wander more to improve the piece you’re writing. More ideas, more words!
• It makes you calm & blimey with all the ideas you’re getting for your next piece — because you had time to think & read.
• This list can go on based on personal experiences. Add yours if you feel the same.

Cons:

I am sorry. Since, I am writing this, I am obviously biased towards writing regularly rather than everyday! So, I don’t see any cons! However, you may find this post cynical, misleading & alarming. If you write everyday, good for you & if you encourage others to do the same, great. Yet, like I said, Not everyone will agree with either you or myself! 

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Honestly, I have tried writing everyday but it didn’t work for me. It makes me feel all the cons I mentioned above and so, I wrote this. After all, I feel, we must all work at our own pace. Whether to practice our art everyday or not, is our own individual choice. 

So, make a choice that’s best for you. Thanks for reading. Namaste.

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Taruni Sharma is a content creator in the entertainment field. She is a writer & being interested in human psychology & life’s philosophy (& because of being too emotional), she loves writing poetry & prose about love, life, self & personal development. Stay in touch by following her Blog, Instagram, Twitter, Spotify Podcast, Linkedin, Youtube & Quora.

Found Peace?

A POEM.

I don’t know peace,

I know what it feels like occasionally.

May be its in the cup of tea,

Or in the sleeping soundly after tiring for weeks!

I find peace in planting seeds,

The soil makes me feel tranquility.

Sometimes I find it in cleaning around me,

It’s like cleaning your head & accepting the defeat!

Acceptance is another kind of peace,

Of wrongs & rights, separately.

Accepting the truth is what brings the tease,

Further realising the lies puts us to ease.

There’s peace in a good book & a story.

You can also find it in the words of your diary!

A word from an old friend,

A text from a long lost love that still aches,

The moving to a new place,

Or even moving the furniture inside the gates!!

All is peace in bits & pieces.

We even find peace in the moments of losing to nemesis!

Moments, that make our lives full & firey,

The little things that give us meaning & make life less tirey!

Those moments we live everyday,

Those are the real parts that gets our life into play…

Peace is find in the moments we pay,

Paid it off well, we realise it the next day,

When the peace is missing & things are at hay,

That’s when we know what it feels to be served by peace in a tray!

I Am Tired Of The Motivation Hustle!

Everyone is racing over the Self Growth content!

Photo by Luis Villasmil on Unsplash

It sounds cynical, I know. But aren’t you tired? Do this for success ; Do that for money ; Hustle & work hard to fulfil your goals & so on! 

How about Do this & stop worrying about success ; Do that so that you know that money is a secondary wealth ; hustle & work hard but remember to take a break to enjoy the view!!

Everywhere I go online, most of the content is based on self improvement & personal growth in life! I know it sells! Even if we don’t follow it, we still give it a read because it’s the kind of content people just can’t ignore. It’s like dessert after a meal. You know you’re full, you don’t need the dessert, but you taste it anyway! Regret is left for later. After we read & watch all those “productivity hacks” content, we regret we aren’t doing enough! The ones that ARE doing a lot start doubting themselves. I know I do!

What are these type of content really trying?

Do they want to inspire us or challenge us that we can or can’t do something?

But then again, not everyone is that much egoistic to take the challenge so seriously! Only some do, and their battle begins! Not with the challenger, but with their heads. They force themselves beyond their comfort zones, to level up the process of success! Some give up, some reach their highest selves. I am proud of BOTH. The ones who give up, not necessarily give up because they’re incapable, but because things just didn’t workout for them and their luck was not that supportive. The ones who do reach their goals were so into it that they had no self doubt and their luck was inclined with their efforts. Things worked out well for the latter.

This doesn’t mean we will make the ones left behind, feel bad!!! Sometimes it’s not their fault that they didn’t make it to the finish line. By creating over-motivating hustle-bustle content, we’re affirming them their failure. We’re telling them they should have gone all the way, even when it was impossible to! But what do we know about their background, families or mental state? Are we sure, they GAVE UP? Just like that? 

“Our purpose is to love, be kind to each other & support each other.”

I know, I sound so negative & against the motivational content!! But I am not any of those things. I consume such content myself. I like how when I have nothing else to do, I turn to the self-growth practices that help me for the better. But, everything has its limits. 

The people creating amazing content that’s relatable and the ones that are motivating, both have their values in a consumer’s mind. There is a right time for both of it. I am ranting about TOO MUCH of it because may be, in this lockdown, all of us are inside and trapped in our heads. We’re consuming content that is forcing us to — workout, hustle, be creative, cook, learn, earn, grow & what not! All this creates a psychological reaction in our heads that we too, should motivate people because we are now, motivated. The result is, the internet is bombarded with all this ‘how to’,’what to’, ‘why to’ stuff!!

Our purpose is to love, be kind to each other & support each other. That’s what I am trying to say. EVERYBODY is a motivator, but all I want to be is an ENCOURAGER. Today, I want to encourage myself and all the people who feel that ‘not being good enough’ is the reason they don’t GET things!! NO. It’s not the reason. Sometimes ‘You’re the best’ but its just, you aren’t the RIGHT one! Be it our career or our relationships. It’s okay. Take a deep breathe and take a break. YOU ARE ENOUGH. 

WE ARE ENOUGH. Let’s take a break & chill. 

Clueless Is The New Clue!

“I mean, have you ever imagined

the ocean is alive, and needs to tell us something important, and the only way it can talk

is by making waves crash, and we just lounge there, drenched in cocoa butter, on towels

with crappy novels and volleyballs, sipping spritzers, as the ocean uses all its strength to repeat

the same warning over and over?”

(from the poem “The Berlin Mall”)”
― Jeffrey McDaniel

Let’s start listening then? The ocean, the birds, the wind & the stars are trying to tell us that we’re not alone. We have been given the greatest gift of all-TIME. But In this time of restlessness, how can we enjoy anything when there’s no clue of the future itself?

Yes, We’re clueless about the future and the present. Might as well embrace it?

Being clueless is not an option anymore, it’s a choice! The only one we’ve got. This is the time of crisis. Yet, if you’re NOT clueless, you’ll get into Mental crisis, before anyone else! So, just accept that you’re clueless and it’s okay. Because CLUELESS IS THE NEW CLUE FOR THE FUTURE.

We have been taught to plan, create & share. Planning & routine are the ultimate human sources for survival. But today, it’s the survival of the fittest. Your plans & routine doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is that your INSIDE & SAFE! It’s the right time to be clueless.

How Clueless is the new clue?

Do you have a job? Are you working from home?

You don’t have a job and are you still working from home to make it through?

You don’t care about job. You just want the world to be normal again?

All these questions have a single answer. YES. But this YES is clueless in itself. Because you don’t know for how long you’ll be working from home and when will everything be normal. THIS IS THE CLUE.

The CLUE, that it’s time for you to be clueless and actually enjoy it. No worries of what you should do to improve or how you can save money to travel & to buy that expensive gadget!! All you have to think about is TODAY.

What to EAT today?

Should I SLEEP more today?

Which MOVIE or Web Series can I binge today?

Which FRIEND to call today?

Should I try this new LOOK today?

Pain or Garden or Cook or Sing today?

These questions for EVERYDAY for the next few days.

Let’s enjoy this clue of cluelessness & embrace the TODAYs as long as we have them. Let’s take it one day at a time.

Stay Home. Stay Safe.

The Only Thursday Tactic You Should Apply

Tactics as per the term are the strategies that we can apply in our lives to be stronger- mentally, Physically & Emotionally.

But honestly, I am fed up. Fed up of the self help stuff. Fed up on working on myself each day and writing about it. Sometimes you need a break.

My Thursday Tactic is – Take A Break.

I can tell you to do several things to be your best self, I have, many times, but you can find so many articles and blogs for self growth, personal development, life lessons and what not! But only few will tell you the truth!

I am here, to write the truth that I am feeling and not pretend to be something I am not. So today I am feeling what I feel most of the times – CLUELESS.

I am clueless about the future and the present. I am clueless why I am so anxious and lost all the time. I am clueless why I am forcing myself to write everyday when I really don’t want to. I am clueless, why I procrastinate more and work less! I am clueless, why the hell, I JUST DON’T GIVE MYSELF A BREAK!!!!

“I define intelligent as being yourself.”

Here’s the clue. I am taking this break today. Not wanting to sound intelligent everyday, because I actually am clueless what intelligent even means anymore!

I define intelligent as being yourself. So, I am intelligent I guess. I started this weekday wonders series without a motive ( clueless writer) and for the first three days, I found a motive of learning things we haven’t so far! I pretty much succeeded in writing more than what I desired. Today, I wanted to write something about Thursday and Tactics. But I am not going to. Because Today, I feel the only tactic I want to share and apply is, “Give Yourself A Break”.

So, Take a break. Treat yourself. Love Yourself.

Thanks for reading.

Namaste.

What’s Your Monday Mood!?

Disclaimer: All the words written below are writer’s personal thoughts and experience based curations. Don’t take them as hard core Gyaan/Information. Just take it as relatable af.

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Why monday blues?

Why mondays are considered so mundane!!??

Well, it’s Monday and I am writing this, not so dull to me! People often have three types of personalities on a Monday.

• Motivated
• Grumpy
• Neutral

These three personality traits are related to your current emotional health, career path you’re following & your level of self-motivation. Let’s dig a little deeper into this.

Motivated

The Monday Motivated Personality types are the natural positive people who see best in everything. These people are born & bought up in an optimistic environment and have the ability to look for the best in the worst. They take care of their emotions and overall well being. They understand the importance of time and hard work. These are people who enjoy the little things in life. A morning bird chirping is their inspiration for the day ahead and a smiling colleague is their source of happiness.

Mondays for the motivated people are the new beginnings they waited for the whole weekend. Yet, the weekend isn’t a weekend for them. It’s an opportunity to plan and work for the week ahead. These are people who never give up. They do take breaks in between. They relax and rejuvenate and recharge their brain- just to get back on track.

Their Monday Mood depends on their level of self-motivation & so, they’re most likely to be Motivated on a Monday.

Grumpy

Okay. I actually like these people. The Grumpy Personality Types are not THAT optimistic. They are anxious people who face the reality of life everyday and instead of ignoring it, they analyse their responsibilities. These are the most authentic lot of humans. They’re not grumpy because their nature is like that. They’re extremely loving and friendly people. They’re more real than anyone else out there. They may not enjoy each day, but they face each emotion with equality. They don’t force themselves to be happy all the time. They’re motivated when they’re motivated. If not, they’ll be whatever they’re feeling.

Their Monday Mood depends on their emotional health and so, they can be Grumpy Or Not Grumpy on a Monday.

Neutral

These are the funny people. The Neutral Personality Types are the most fun and sarcastic ones out there. They just don’t care if it’s a Monday or any other day of the week. Their response to every day is pretty much the same. Their mondays are normal, just a bit added with work or some responsibility, that they have no problem tackling with. They are the most chilled out group of people. They give the best / coolest advices to people on everything. They’re the epitome of HAKUNA MATATA.

Their Monday Mood depends on nothing. Be it any career they opt or motivation they have, they just don’t think too much and so they’re Neutral.

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Why Monday Blues?

Did you know that there is an official day dedicated to a particular Monday of the year and it is called as Blue Monday! As mentioned on Wikipedia, Blue Monday is the name given to a day in January (typically the third Monday of the month) claimed to be the most depressing day of the year. The concept was first published as part of a 2005 press release from holiday company Sky Travel, which claimed to have calculated the date using an equation.

Types of Research followed through a Monday Blues are supposed to be two.

• Emotional
• Professional

Emotional Health

Research tells and like I mentioned above that our emotional health is one of the most impactful factor of our behaviour in day to day life. Our emotional health decides our mood on any particular day, moreover Mondays.

Emotional reasons for having monday blues:

Mental Health Issues : As much as it is pretty much the reason for any kind of disturbance in our system, it is also a reason associated with Monday Blues. If you have depression or symptoms of it, you’re likely to experience monday blues. If you have anxiety or even a slight emotional setback, Monday blues will be at your doorstep.

Introvertedness : It is not hidden that the introverts have monday blues for an obvious reason – Social Interaction. It’s not that introverts hate social interactions, but they don’t like it either! Alright, introverts don’t like them. The weekends are the best for them because they can party on their own. Read a book, lay around, recharge their brain and spend their ME time. When Monday blues strike them, they somehow deal with it, until the night, when they’re again on their own.

Professional Temptations

Professional temptations (what I call it), are the constant urges to switch jobs and follow your dreams. That’s too direct but it is one of the main reasons for having monday blues. You don’t like your job or you want to do something else instead and once monday arrives, your professional temptation take you back to your dreams and aspirations you’ve had since always.

That’s pretty much it !

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How To Deal With Monday Blues Like A Pro

If you fall in the category of “personality types on mondays”, you probably don’t deal with Monday Blues. But if you’re the one who has monday blues because of any reason, you can find the next few lines helpful.

1. Organised Sleep Cycle: I know these aren’t the times to be asking you to get control in your life. But then when is the right time? The Right Time is always NOW. Take a good sleep or at least organise the current. Sleep cycle is directly associated with our mood. A good sleep makes a good morning and a better day.

2. Get Some Exercise: I can not emphasise on this any further. You workout, you rest better. You workout, you feel better. As simple as that.

3. Finish Your tasks on deadlines: Don’t postpone your work or any task to the next day or week. If you do so, you’ll never feel a freshness of a new day. you’ll get caught up in yesterday’s work and the “new beginning” will remain an “old error”.

4. Utilise your weekend: This simply means, don’t waste it. Don’t waste your weekends on unnecessary outings or clubbing. A weekend is to relax & recharge. Weekend is for yourself. Give it to yourself. I won’t say much, you know what’s right for you.

5. Do what You love: It requires immense courage, bravery and anxiety to follow your heart but once you do, there’s no stopping you. Find a job where you find absolute happiness. Or make one for yourself. You know you can!

Monday Moods are real and so are Monday Blues. I hope you found this information helpful. Comment below which Monday Mood are you in today! We shall help each other become better right!

Thanks for reading. Namaste.

LOVE Doesn’t Hurt; It Helps Us Grow

Love & Growth – Our Life’s Purpose

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I still don’t understand, what is it about love, that I have written so much about it and I still want to write about it! Confusing right? Trust me, I have written to be in love & the truth about unrequited love, even innumerable poems too! I am still not finished. I don’t think I ever will be! 

I am not talking about friendships and the relationships we have in our lives with different people. I am only talking about romantic relationships. As friendships and family gives us love without asking for it, or without having to struggle for it you may say! In these relationships, it comes naturally to everyone. This is my family, I have to love them. These are my friends, I will love them no matter what. It’s like you have no choice and nothing else you can do about it. 

But what happens in a romantic relationship? You literally ASK yourself, “Do I love this person?” or “Does this person love me?”. You analyse everything closely, if this person will inspire you or not. If this person will love you on the days when you can’t even love yourself!! If this person is going to ACCEPT you, as you are!! You don’t have to ask or think too much about all this in other relationships in your life.

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Terms & Conditions

Applied?

 In a romantic relationship, both parties have certain requirements or expectations and both of them see in each other, if they match the potential needed by the other. But in some scenarios, or mostly, when it comes to LOVE, the expectations are invisible. Even if the person is completely opposite of what we wanted, there is no going back once love happens. But how does love happen?

“Unconditional love is the epitome of true love.”

There are no terms & conditions when it comes to love. A person can be far away, and you can still fall in love with them (even if you don’t see them physically or meet). That’s the algorithm of long distance relationships, right? No. Wrong. That’s the algorithm of unconditional love. In a long distance relationship, there are some conditions, such as the hours spent talking or texting, how many video calls per week, online gift deliveries and so on….. Unconditional love is the epitome of true love. True love doesn’t have these conditions. Unconditional love is simply without any conditions. Even if the person is miles away, you don’t even talk anymore and they still manage to let your heart skip a beat. Some people call it unrequited love. I used to call it myself. But not anymore. Unrequited love is totally a different aspect of love, it is more twisted and lean more towards obsession. 

Unconditional love is not an obsession, but acceptance. Acceptance of truth and of the person’s truth as well. The truth that hurts, but is accepted with love, for love. Acceptance that this love may never happen, but that doesn’t mean you stop loving them, it just gets better with time. You love them still, but it doesn’t hurt anymore.

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And there goes the concept of terms & conditions down the drain. 

That’s our purpose- Love. Accept. Love some more.

What Now ? Once you love someone unconditionally, will you ever be happy with someone else? If so, how?

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“Even from a far away land, the love you hold in your heart is strong enough to make you the best version of you if you let it.”

The Future of LOVE with Unconditionality

It is difficult, yes; to love someone without losing yourself. It is not impossible. People say, to be in love, is to love with your heart, soul, body and mind. True Love don’t let you lose yourself, it helps you grow and find yourself. Even from a far away land, the love you hold in your heart is strong enough to make you the best version of you if you let it. 

Once you find yourself, your love will find it’s way as well. Everything around you will start making sense. It didn’t before, because to you, it was only about the person you love, but now, it’s about YOU. After all this, you will feel relieved and your love will grow in a way you always wanted it to. It will serve your soul and fill it with creativity and personal growth. You will create and share. You will love yourself like you never did before, because you’re not in the idea of love, You are ‘in’ love. This unconditional love shows us the path to our higher self. There can be questions about how are we ever going to be in a relationship, if we keep loving like that? If the person we love is not the one we’ll be with, but then how can we be with someone else!!? 

“The love never dies. Love is immortal.”

The person we want a relationship may not be the one. The person who’s meant to be with us will come along the way while we enjoy our lives as it is. They will come and stay, unexpectedly longer. It can be anyone. The people you know, or a stranger you should’ve known! They will make you feel happy and beautiful. They will talk about all the things you want to talk about and more. They will make you feel like home. And even before you know it, your love will ‘transfer’ into that person. Yes, transfer. The fact is, once you love someone truly, you can not un-love them. The love never dies. Love Is Immortal. But, when someone else comes into our lives, you see your LOVE in them. You think , “this person seems familiar”. This familiarity comes from the person you already loved. You can see their resemblance in this new person and you feel like this one’s even better! You fall in love again. Not because you un-love the one you loved, but you were never out of love and now you can just share your love with the one who’s willing to share theirs.

This relationship will last and this love will become your new epitome of not true, but real love. Real love happens when you know the hurt, the pain, the effort that goes into loving someone and that doesn’t bother you anymore. Real Love is also unconditional, because you know all the conditions but the one condition makes you forget them all- that you love them. 

After a heart-wrenching incomplete true love in your life, you experience Real Love. The only difference is that in real love, you will not repeat the mistakes you did before. You will fight for this to work and will go all the way to have a happy relationship. That’s how you re-love with your true love and make it real. You ACCEPT & GROW.

I hope you find your real love and if you already have, you know what to do. Love is the strongest power that exists, let’s use it the way it is meant to be. Let’s re-invent L.O.V.E. and give it the credit it deserves. 

Thanks for reading. Namaste.

How Anxiety Attacks | A Self Portrait Series

Anxiety is real and there’s no escaping it once it hits you.
Some people are aware and some are just confused.
Mental Health should be talked more often.
The experiences should be shared in different ways. Because nobody is alone in this.

Especially in this time, where we’re struggling in one way or the other. Talking about it won’t make IT go away,  but it’ll make US better as a human being.

Here’s a photograph series describing how anxiety attacks.

If you have trouble with mental health, please talk to people, write it out or talk to me. I know how hugely mental health can effect our lives. You’re not alone.