That heartbreak, that broke your heart?
That happened For You to understand Love.
That accident, that broke your leg?
That happened for you to take a break.
Losing that job you loved?
That happened for you to know your true capabilities.
Losing that friend you thought was the closest?
That happened for you to understand life.
That job you wanted so badly but didn’t get,
You got rejected to get prepared for something better..
That loved one you lost?
It’s there to remind you of reality.
That heart ache that doesn’t go away?
It happened for you to respect others.
That meltdown, you can’t have?
It triggers your hidden insecurities..
That feeling of everything being ‘too much’?
It exists for you to know, you got this.
That challenge, that challenges your core?
It’s there to remind you of how strong you are.
The chaos in the world and you thinking about your peace alone?
Because you can make out the reality that everything happens for a reason….Thanks for reading. Namaste.
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A friend shared this on Instagram:
I was blown away because amidst of all the talk about mental health awareness & suicide prevention, I haven’t seen anyone address this! The emotional abuse that triggers mental distress in the first place! I thank the person who made this and gave me a point to point out, with reasoning & facts, that how in daily life, we may trigger mental distress or how we are being emotionally abused.
Understanding Emotional Abuse
To give you context & I am sure you guys will relate to these instances on some level. A person, who forces you to not talk to any of your friends or is over possessive is Emotional Abuse. A person, forcing their decisions on you and YOU, out of love are happily accepting them is Self Emotional Abuse. You can say ‘NO’, yet, you can’t. The toxic relationships we know are toxic because of ABUSE. The toxic friendships are into existing because of Mental Distress. You don’t like the place where you work, because the people are emotionally distressing you without even knowing.
Comedian Zakir Khan said in one of his stand-ups, “Fun is because of people, the place doesn’t matter. We need people. Our people. We’ll be fine even in hell.” That’s why relationships end, because the people don’t resonate with our emotional intelligence. Just like Intellectual Quotient (I.Q.), there is an Emotional Quotient (E.Q.) in us as well. The higher the E.Q., the more you are emotionally aware about your behaviours and decisions in life. It’s simply can be understood as ‘Self-Awareness’.
You might have noticed that some people have fewer friends, some people are introverts, some people who are extroverts, choose to be ‘Selective Extroverts’ because their E.Q. is high and they know what & who can emotionally distress them, so they are open to their circle of people. That doesn’t mean that introverts are highly self-aware, some aren’t, yet, it is believed, they mostly are as they spend most of their time with themselves.
The LIFE ADVISORY BOARD, also known as Life Coaches, often suggest for us to spend some ALONE TIME. Reason is simple- Self Awareness. The more you spend time with yourself, the more you’ll get to know yourself. Initially, it’s hard because it’s exhausting, can be lonely and can cause depression & anxiety, yet, the silver lining is that once you start living with yourself, you’ll understand what’s good for you and what’s not. Who’s right for you to be in your life and who’s not. I’ve always suggested ‘Journaling’ as one of the best practices to become self-aware. It’s one of the best methods to understand our emotional sides.
When it comes to emotional abuse, I am sure when we over-think, over-work, over-pamper someone or even over- agree with people we over-care about, we feel anxious, tired, caged or trapped, respectively. Those are the initial signs of emotional abuse. So, another method to say NO to emotional abuse is also to learn to say ‘NO’. Consent is not meant ‘just for sex, it’s also meant for other things in life. Like YOURSELF. The decisions in YOUR life, should be YOURS. The space YOU want for YOURSELF, should be there. The break YOU need from people, shouldn’t be misunderstood.
It’s not just Self-Love or Self-Care. It’s YOUR LIFE and YOU need peace of mind, heart and soul to live it well and to be happy. And we all know, We can’t make people we love happy, if we ourselves aren’t. So, for your own sake, take a stand for yourself. It doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you human.
The Power Of “Standing-Up”
Apart from getting a head rush, there goes a lot of thinking into standing up & standing up for yourself. (Lame jokes are allowed in serious articles). Amidst of the pandemic, so many personal issues have surfaced, which were being either ignored or were invisible to a layman’s eyes. Mental Health being the top on that list resulting in suicides, domestic violence & more.
In India, 77 % cases of domestic violence have been reported, which is way more than they used to. Social Media have had an extra impact in this regard. It’s sad and outrageous that it’s happening, but it’s commendable that people are standing up for others and for themselves. People refuse ill treatment which is a strong message for everyone and the power of standing up. This power doesn’t only makes us stronger, it makes the society a better society in whole. When people support each other, incredible things happen, so if you notice any form of abuse around you – Speak Up.
What Can We Do
Just like I have been trying to finish this article for a week, slow and steady, we get to the finish line. All we need, is a little push. We can make this world a better place, not just by earning enough, but by lifting each other up as well.
As the pandemic has shown us, how much we need to work on ourselves personally, we can start with being more compassionate and kind with each other. Kindness is the best gift to be given and we all can be kind, it’s not something you learn to be, it’s something you’re born with. Embrace it. Not everyone can be an empath but everyone can be kind. Just being nice to people is good enough. Be nice, smile at people, if you see someone crying in public, hug them or talk to them. You don’t know, but your ONE kind gesture makes a HUGE difference in someone’s life.
Let’s be kind everyday and grow together.
Thanks for reading. Namaste.
It really is.
To be happy, even when others aren’t.
To feel content in yourself.
To not have a mental disorder anymore.
Or to not have to experience it at all.
It doesn’t make you less of a human.
A mental health issue is not a compulsion.
To love yourself, and put forth your life.
To ignore the world for your smile.
To laugh at silly things by yourself.
To wear pyjamas to a fare.
To not care for a while.
It’s okay to love your life.
To be nice to yourself, and to others.
That doesn’t mean you’re weak,
It means you’re strong enough to take the lead.
To feel cheated on and hurt because of being
Too honest and
In a world of fake faces,
It’s okay to be too real.
It’ s okay,
To trying to please people,
It doesn’t make you OVER or EXTRA.
It makes you a better human.
To doubt your actions &
It’s Not Okay,
To NOT break the barriers,
That make you YOU.
Because It’s Okay.
Thanks for reading…..
If you’re feeling uneasy with the title,
That’s on you.
You aren’t a good friend really.
You’re selfish, aren’t you?
You want my support & in return,
You leave with a fake smile.
You’re fake, aren’t you?
You show your support,
Just for show..
But you’re jealous somehow.
You’re not my friend, are you?
If so, why do you make me uncomfortable,
Is it because you want me to OBEY you,
Or is it because you don’t like me as incharge?
So many friends at hand,
Yet, so little support…
Some show it,
Unlike other’s, who’re just for show…
Jealous of the courage I sow,
Hatred for themselves, they can’t reap it off me.
Energy vampires, suck up all the good vibes,
And here I thought, you were from my tribe!
May be I was wrong somewhere too.
But know, I didn’t mean to.
From where I see it,
I did nothing wrong.
Your toxicity is your own song…
I thought I was blessed enough ,
To have such friends.
Little did I know,
You were here to make some amends…
No more of your lies & fake support,
I don’t need to entertain you anymore.
You’re on your own,
So am I.
We’re not friends, we never were.
Who just need each others energies to survive.
You’re not the friend I need in my life,
But I am the one, you do.
Sorry not sorry honey,
Being your frenemy is not, what I am looking for….
Thanks for reading..
I am sure, just like me, you must’ve read and watched all the articles and videos about early morning routines and it’s benefits. I am sure, some of you are the early morning birds, that sing with ease with eyes closed, smile on a face and a fresh breeze kissing every ounce of your body. Robin Sharma wrote a Best-Selling Book on it, The 5 a.m. Club. I read it and got inspired but not motivated. I always procrastinated about ‘my early mornings’!
Two weeks ago, I hit a major writer’s block. I forced myself to write two poems and they were okay! Yet, I knew I could write better. But, I just didn’t want to. I regretted my non-writing hours of the day. I apparently didn’t even read any online things of my fellow writers. Just kept my distance from the writing exercise and the community itself. For a week, I wasted time. I watched the Netflix series, DARK & read my unfinished books, ordered some more & re-read the old ones.
A week later, I was enjoying it. I realised, I needed to waste sometime. I needed to take a break. Yet, I needed a routine. moreover, a morning one! Yet, I STILL DIDN’T WAKE UP EARLY. In fact, I used to sleep around 3 a.m. ! So, one fine day, I wrote this – The Power Of Wasting Time.
I literally thought that my writer’s block is over. Yet, I was still not motivated to be productive. So, wasted some more time, wrote in my journal, read more books, created some Content. But, I didn’t feel motivated enough.
Two days ago, I decided to go for a walk in the evening. May be discover new roads to walk on. When I did, I felt something that I hadn’t felt in a very long time. The peace was easier to feel. The road was empty. There were bushy trees on both sides and there were just me, the sound of my footsteps and the song of the breeze (somewhat similar to the image). I don’t think I have heard such quite surrounding, ever! I had just fallen in love with walks in the nature.
I walked and just gazed into the beautiful blue sky, the monsoon green trees, the washed up road with a garnish of fallen leaves.
It was a wake up call. One morning I woke up around 5:30 in the morning and just went off!!! My eyes weren’t even wide open yet and my hair were messed up. But I didn’t care (Also, with the mask on, nobody would recognise me). Anyway, I walked and just gazed into the beautiful blue sky, the monsoon green trees, the washed up road with a garnish of fallen leaves. It was surreal! I came back and I felt like I was a new person. The nature really heals, I thought. I opened my laptop, I went to this site aeon.co because I wanted to feed my brain with some breakfast. Coincidently, the first article I saw was ‘The Healing Power Of Nature’. It was relatable and informative but the satisfaction I felt was out of this world.
Finally, I came down to medium and read some amazing stories. I wrote down some ideas I had and then, started to write this. Apologies for dragging you along the memoir! But without going backwards, there’s no moving forward right?
A walk is the stillness we need in a speedy world.
The Significance Of A Walk
I am assuming you’re intrigued. I used to go for walks before, but why did it affect me on such a high note this time? Simply, because I Needed It. Sounds cliche but it’s true. The fact behind the phrase ‘timing is everything’, is that it is. A walk can change the way you look at life. It can heal your mind, body and soul. A walk can take away all the pain and give you all the cure you need.
A walk is an escape from the chaos of the world. A walk is the stillness we need in a speedy world. If we’re able to go for a walk, in between all this clutter in the world, there’s no one luckier than us. Because we can find a moment of peace and motionlessness in the natural state of motion of a human being, without having to think of the consequences but to experience it all.
The Power Of A Walk
I shared my story, yet there’s more to it. A walk is a personal choice & its power on us is personal as well. However, some effects are common.
- A walk is liberating: Remember, when in childhood, we used to go out and play. How amazing it used to feel. We used to wait for our play time! Same goes in adulthood, but with walks… Our playtime is replaced with a walk, but gives us the same feeling, leaves the same after effect and makes us powerful in feeling free.
- A walk is the awaited ‘Me-Time’: Adulthood is hard and what’s harder is to find that time in a day, where you get to be yourself, with yourself. You get to be alone with your thoughts and get inspired with them. A walk is that moment.
- A walk is the easiest exercise: Also cycling. It’s the most effortless exercise for all aspects of us. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. a walk is great for everything. The only effort you need to put in, is to just go for it.
- A walk helps you with ‘live in the moment’: When on a walk, with music or not, try not to use your phone. Just walk and look around. You’ll realise that time can be slowed down and you can worry less, because you’re learning to living in the moment because of the walk.
I want to share more about how amazing a walk can be, but I think you get the point. Now, all you need to do is to go for a walk in nature and experience the magic on your own. Be safe and happy walking.
Thanks for reading.
My heart skips a beat,
I think too much I believe..
I fall easily but someone picks me up.
Every time I lose control,
Or give up,
Someone tells me I am badass enough.
It tells me to groan on people,
The ones who get under my skin.
It tells me to scream & shout,
At the ones, who do the same at me.
I feel, I like IT..
I like for IT to be around.
IT keeps me sane & sound.
IT helps me say NO &
Takes me for a ride in the side I’d enjoy more.
This side of me, only want the best for me,
Unlike the angelic one,
That thinks about others before me..
The one that makes me feel the pain of others,
That can hurt me to make others happy..
That side of me, Not want the best for me,
But the best for people around me….
Whose side should I be on?
It’s a dilemma, to be an angel or to stay with evil,
To Let Go or to Keep Holding On with the devil,
To say what I’m truly feeling,
Or to think about other’s healings…
To be an angel,
I’ll have to be more energetic with positivity.
It requires more effort and transparency.
This side wants me to put aside,
Every pain on the side, &
Take in some more with a smile..
It’s exhausting and overwhelming,
It’s boring and unworthy to be an angel.
Yet, It’s the dominating one,
Between the twins, that are non-identical…
Yet, To be an evil,
Is fun & entertaining..
To laugh on someone is easy & containing..
To be selfish & say the bad words out loud,
To choose the evil, is too choose your true hound…
What’s hard is to suppress this side,
To choose the angel in disguise.
To suppress the evil is equally exhausting,
As to live with angelic behaviour..
In the world of evil & negatives on the loose,
The angel is the saviour,
To be evil is not a choice, but natural..
Yet, to choose angel is to be brutal…
On us, & not on other’s,
Angel in me wants what’s best for the world…
Don’t we all?
Thanks for reading. Namaste.
I wish to live in the world,
Where I am my only judge.
A world so free,
That my demons leave me…..
I wish to empower,
Myself & my beauty…
Only, in that dream world,
I’ll get my due for my silent duty….
I wish to live in the land of NOT men,
I wish in that world, I am beautiful.
That world would give me validation.
More than I ever needed…..
In that world, I won’t have to prove,
I won’t have to dread,
I won’t have to be so needy.
For in that world,
I would be alone, free & happy.
I wish to live in the world ,
Where I feel ME & my demons feel trapped.
A world, where my mind is in my grasp.
A world where the world is nothing more,
Than an imagination…
A world of peace, a fantasy and
A result of a tiresome abomination.
I want to go to that world,
Where my heart doesn’t ache.
A world of love, not pain.
A world of empathy, not gain…
I wish I could create a world of my own,
Without violence and crimes.
I would create friendship that rhymes,
With life and soul to behold.
I would erase betrayal and horizon.
A world, where we walk on the sky and fly on land.
A world of fire to breathe and water to mend.
I wish to erase success in that world.
A world, where journey is a celebration.
I want to live in a world of laughter, tears of joy &
Hearts filled with love and admiration.
I’d call it My World,
Because nobody would tell me what to do.
Nobody would leave me,
And nobody would hurt me, or say they didn’t mean to!
My World would be an epitome of happiness.
A world where sorrow is the alien,
And heartbreak is not just another failure….
Where Love is a power and not a weakness,
Where power is not a privilege & is out of existence.
Yet, It’s better to not go there, we’ll be living in a mirror afar,
For in that world, life would flourish with broken hearts….
Thanks for reading. Namaste.