I miss you so much so,
Like I have nowhere to go.
In my dreams and daydreams as well,
You’re there even when I can’t tell.
I have been writing poetry about you,
Thinking you’ll leave & the hurt will end too.
By the day, it’s getting worse,
I can’t lose you, it’s like I have put on a curse!
I think I am strong & brave & everything I should be,
I know I want to let this go, so I can be ME.
Yet, the love is stronger and I can’t set myself free,
Please help me, because to me, it’s something only you can see.
I am taking a deep breath,
To calm myself down.
Don’t frown, you have no idea,
My pain is not a clown.
Instead, it’s a crown,
I wear with pride & honesty.
A Crown, decorated with love & longing,
With my feelings going to sleep at my will,
And suddenly waking up out of nothing to kill!
I decide I have moved on one moment,
Yet, the next you’re there, staring at my vulnerable self.
It’s okay though, I have given you that right,
To see my naked soul,
And to ignore all the bright sides!
You do ignore it all , don’t you?
So easy for you to not care & to be forgetful.
I know you think about me still.
Why don’t you set aside your insecurities once,
And ask me how I am doing in this nuance?
You won’t, I know.
Who am I kidding, you don’t think about me now.
Not after I have told you how I feel.
Not after, I have expressed that what I feel is real!
I am so delusional. I get that.
But is loving someone a criminal offence?
Why am I being punished every day & night!?
Why do you visit me anyway, my dear?
And now that you do, and have been doing for years,
Why don’t you consider my consistency?
Is it creepy to you, that I have the tranquility,
To love you from a distance?
Distance, that I crossed when I confessed my love!
May be that bothers you now?
That I collected the courage to say how?
You were happy when the distance was inside my heart!
It was best for you to talk to me whenever you’d want.
But now, you can’t do that anymore.
Too afraid to tell me the truth, or
To admit that you feel something more.
More than what you’ve thought , or
Less than what you’ve fought for?
Well, I don’t know.
You don’t tell me. I know you won’t.
You’re a coward & an unreal serpent.
I am not sorry to call you that.
It’s true & I am hurt more than you know.
I miss you so much so,
Like I have nowhere to go!
May be you’re the home I am looking for,
Yet, even with you, I have nowhere to go,
Now I wish , if you could destroy my feelings,
Just like you’ve destroyed our bond,
Which I thought, was my home after all!